Anonymous

Ever since we got married, we have had to build slowly. As growth came, including the arrival of children, we began to drift apart and lose excitement. Our relationship became monotonous, predictable, and lacked any spark. It also happens that we don't share the same passion for life. To fill in what I considered a lack of adventure, one of us began to look outward, considering having an extramarital affair.

The Turning Point

In the middle of this, we discovered afresh what we thought we had always known: relationships don't build themselves. We have to be intentional with our choices, and it was up to us to infuse the spark we were in search of. With this in mind, we made a commitment to become intentional with each other and made practical changes to how we relate with one another. We built bonding activities, studied and prayed together, and spoke words of affection to each other.

What made the difference for me was sitting with myself and asking if this was the type of man I wanted to be and the type of family I wanted to raise. The foreknowledge of my values helped. It also helped that I was open about my struggles and sought help, and God, seeing the sincerity of purpose, came through. It also helped that we are putting in the work.

Where We Are Now

Slowly but surely, there's a rekindled fire in our love. We still have to work hard, but we are making progress. Today we are growing in love. Not all roses, but we are choosing differently.

My advice is "Don't abandon the basics of healthy relationships."